| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|01:57 am] |
i miss my friends, and being able to do some stuff that i dont get a chance to do very often anymore. im looking into getting anite job so that i can actually have money, but at the same time im like eh.....i've done two jobs before, and i prefer not to if i can help it. so well see. it doesnt help me when i've smoked up twice this week.....god how i miss it. why do i always hafta get back into the scene, why why why??? oh well, thus is life i suppose. love ya'll!
Androgynous
You scored 63 masculinity and 56 femininity! |
| You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles. |
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My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 54% on masculinity |
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You scored higher than 38% on femininity |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|08:34 pm] |
so yeah....i hate the wintertime, and heres why  i hate the snow. however i did get some nifty new boots for the snow. they're stanley steel toes. good ol dyke boots. so i was almost hit today, a couple of times cuz people dont know how to fucking drive. that, and there were people going 25 in a 75, when they could have easily gone 50....gonna cause an accident, lemme tell ya. oh, they closed some roads around town this afternoon cuz of the snow. stupid ass snow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|04:05 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling.... |
| |  exhausted | ] |
okay so i know, i need to update more, but eh...blow me. im lazy. however i have created a picture post for your enjoyment!
( oooOOh!! pictures )
thats all for now. its been a very very long week full of migrane pain. i love ya'll talk to you later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|02:35 am] |
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so yeah, last week was very very very busy for me....not only did i pick up ethan on friday then i had to work like 45 hours last week, including tuesdays which was like 14hours long. painful, but good money. thanksgiving was nice, ethan and i went to my 'rents house for lunch. my sister was supposed to go to work(holy shit, a job, i know!) so my mom had it ready at like 130, but then my sister was 'sick' so yeah....but it worked out anyway cuz we were able to go over there and eat and then come back to elaines house and eat. then friday we woke up at like 830ish to go shopping, woulda been earlier but yeah...my bank didnt open til 8 and i thought it was 9 so yeah...but we gots lots of shopping done. as a matter of fact ethan is done with his shopping, i still have my family and a few others to buy for. but i got some of my family done. the kids are pretty much done, and i have everyone in my other family cept ethan and elaine. but then i went to work for like 6 hours after being out shopping for like 5 hours or something like that....and yeah i think it went pretty well tho. even tho ethan and i kept getting into little tiffs, but we did pretty well the first part of the week so yeah. hopefully things will go okay over xmas break. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
seeing as how most people i hang around call me an oompa loompa this shit is funny....
| Your Amazing Yoda Sex Line |
"Down here, I am. Find a ladder, I must!" |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|09:46 pm] |
its been almost a week later, and im still in a crapload of pain. this fucking sucks! and...i ran out of meds yesterday, i still have the lidocaine left, but that works for all of what...10 minutes? as long as i dont eat or drink anything. at least i get to go in tomorrow. im telling my dentist that i need nitrous and he needs to numb me before he works on me, cuz yeah...this shit is ridiculous, especally for a procedure that 'isnt very painful' HA! yet i can fucking stand root canals and surgical extractions anytime...that shit doesnt hurt, but this does.
i miss my friends. i miss having more than just court as a friend.....i never am able to hang out with her either :( we're always conflicted. we're supposed to hang out tomorrow, but we'll see what happens....i have a feeling its gonna be a no go again. granted i called it off last time, but thats cuz she was hanging out with people that gimme bad vibes and yeah....what can i say *shrugs* but yeah, i miss having a social life and being able to do things...i dont talk to anyone but ethan and court.....i sit at ethans house and usually hang out with his mom, which is all good and fine but yeah....not someone i can talk to about everything...and ethan talks about how he doesnt have friends up there and how everyone is an asshole and bla bla bla hrmmmm...yeah, not so much. he has much more of a life then i do, and im happy for him, really.....but it just sorta aggrivates me cuz im like yeah...try living my life. oh no...you have to be away from your family so you can go to school and further yourself...damn.
and yeah, ya know i could be a lot worse off then i am and be homeless or in danger or some shit, but yeah....this is my life and therefore i shall bitch about it.
im getting the urge to do coke again....bad news city, buddy.
i feel like crying. my fucking teeth hurt so goddamn bad.
thats all i have the energy for as of now. love you all, especially you
ooooooh. its snowing outside. i fucking hate the snow. its so fucking cold. brrrrrrrrrr
edit: oh shit...i forgot what i was gonna say. well fuck it then. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|11:53 pm] |
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never before have in been in so much pain after leaving the dentists office, even when i've had root canals, extractions and even my wisdom teeth pulled. this sucks so much. on the bright side, i did get some T3, but it still hurts like hell, i dont know what the fuck to do. i'll probably go back in tomorrow morning. i cant eat anything, eating soup fucking hurt like hell earlier. ahhh im in so much pain. well thats about it for now, love to ya'll. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|11:27 pm] |
i have a dentist appt tomorrow, i dont want to go. usually, i dont mind the dentist, im not scared of them or anything, i've had enough dental work done to where it really doesnt bother me.....except when they work on the front. why? cuz it hurts. once i get the shots its all good cant feel anything, but the shots fucking hurt in the front, last time, it was still hurting from them like a week later, and tomorrow.....they hafta work on the front again. they hafta cut my gums so they can put a crown on. and if that doesnt work....they hafta do a root canal(not a big deal) but then they hafta put a post in my bone to put the freaking crown on, i hope cutting the gums work, cuz i dont want to have a post in my bone :( that sounds like it'll hurt.
another thing that pisses me off....my dentist appt is at 830, which means i hafta wake up no later than like 730 so i can shower and whatnot.....for once i would like to just be able to sleep in, but nooooooooo....either the other people in the house wake me up at like 630, or my boss calls me at 7 when she dials the wrong number. i was so pissed off about that this morning, that made me wake up like an hour earlier than when i had to, and yeah...its just an hour, but when you only get like 5-6 hours of sleep a nite, that hour is a very big deal.
so today when i got off work(a half hour late) after being there all morning by myself with no food i went and got albertacos and then came home and went to bed, slept from like 430 to about 930, it was nice.....and im gonna go back to sleep here soon.
i wish i knew more people to hang out with. i hang out with courtney, her family, my family, thats about it.....the families dont count cuz they're family, ya know? i wish i knew more people so i could go out and relax sometimes...but oh well. theres never even anyone online for me to talk to anymore....other than ethan, but that doesnt count cuz i talk to him almost everyday, its one of those things thats agiven.
welp, thats about it for now, methinks i shall go to bed.
oh.....i got new speakers for ethans car. i got them just for the rear for now, but i want to replace the front ones and then get a new deck...i figure i can always just replace the stock ones if i ever get a car. which wont likely happen, so......but im excited bout the speakers, they sound nice, my dad and i installed them on sunday. yay! speakers with body to em.hahaha peace out faeries |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|01:35 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling.... |
| |  contemplative | ] |
okay so as some of you may or may not know....i still dont have my own car. i've been using ethan's car while he's in college, and its all good and fine, i love the mirage, its a great car i know how it should run, i take care of it and damn can i make that baby zoom (120 on the interstate, yeah buddy!!!!) however, i really want my own car....as any adult type person would.......
so today i went to check out this sale that they were having on used cars....i went in with the intenton of buying/leasing a car today...the ad was '95 down, payments as low as 95 a month, and we have many financers working to fianance even those with bad credit' so i was like cool...maybe i'll have a shot, right. WRONG!!!
i go in, with elaine, and we're talking to the guy, alex, about it and he's like well on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your credit.....and im like um...bout a 20. so he's telling us about a woman earlier who he financed who had horrible credit and bla bla bla, right.....so im like okay well....lets see....he runs my credit and whalah....i must, must, must get a cosigner or i will pretty much never get a car.....
well, ethan would co sign for me, no problem, but seeing as how he hasnt had a regular job in quite some time, they wont let him, then ya know we're leaving and as we're walking out elaine says 'this is something we can discuss, i didnt want to do it infront of him though.' and im like alright.....and she says that she would be willing to cosign for me because she knows that i wouldnt fuck up shit on the payments and all that jazz and that it would be a good opportunity for me to earn good credit and im like right right right......she says well just think about it alright, and i say okay. now as we're pulling out shes like you're not going to think about it, are you? and i said nope. she says im just too proud. thats part of it, i guess i just hate relying on other people, i need my own car, and would very much like my own car, but i dont know if i can handle her cosigning for me, its bad enough she wont let me pay rent and wont let me pay for the dentist......
so yeah, im in a dilemma, do i suck it up and let her, or do i put my foot down and say hell no, i'll figure it out in about 10 years, or just use city transportation for the rest of my life.....hrm..... |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|11:05 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling.... |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | I'm Listening to... |
| | the hummm of the computer | ] |
indulge me:
if you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|02:34 am] |
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okay so i changed my aol name...cuz i couldnt remember my other password so.......the new aol is: weeden83 |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|01:30 pm] |
okay so just a lil update on everything thats been going on with me.....im still working at toys r us, not looking foreward to the xmas holiday there, or in general...mainly cuz i dont have money and cant get the things i want to get for people....
im still looking for another job, hopefully friday i'll get a call from payless telling me to go to a second interview, yay! but thats still a few days off....also on friday i will be going in to the dentist to have my upper wisdom teeth removed. this is going to cost me a 157 bucks, hopefully my check will cover it, if not i'll have to ask elaine, and if my check will cover it i'll have to ask elaine for money for gas and what not.....now, why dont i have money you ask...well....because stupid people in the house keep stealing shit from me and i am constantly having to buy more. im getting really fucking sick and tired of all this shit, im tired of my shit disappearing and being stolen by josh and his sketchy little friends, im sick of me not being able to say anything to him about it and its just getting totally outrageous. when i cant go a week without having to ask elaine for money for gas.........thats really fucking bad, granted im like 50 bucks shorter than i woulda been(cuz of the dentist lack week) but still....its pissing me off. i want to be able to tell josh off and tell him the next time he touches anything of mine, im gonna go pawn his ps2 so i can get back the money he owes me. as of now i already own elaine like 70 bucks, josh......owes her probably in the ballpark of 500, not to mention the rent he hasnt been paying....this shit is really getting to me and makes me want to cut, but im not going to. hopefully court will invite me to the gym tonite so i can work out some of my frustrations....not to mention tone up my muscles so im all sorts of sexy looking...mwahhahah. well, i think thats about it for now, off to smoke then take a nap. i'll probably end up drinking some alcohol that i have left...Mmmm alcohol and vicodin, always a good combo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|12:05 am] |
to all of those that have missed me...im sorry i havent updated, to all of those that havent....sorry im updating.im doing well, working my ass off, but im here, and (mostly) healthy, and happy. ya'll know how to reach me ashweed122183@msn.com, if you want my number email me and maybe i'll give it to ya. ;)
mo, i would just like you to know that i have been thinking of you, and im gonna try and send something your way. sorry we havent talked as of late...work has kept me busy, i do apologize. im so glad to hear that you are well and have a safe shelter, i really do hope everything works out in one way or another for you. glad to hear you've got a sweet boi by your side helping you through all the shit, i may just have to steal some clothes from someone to send to ya'll, maybe not exactly in your fashion, but they're clothes.
thats all for now, i must sleep. love you all. mwah! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
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just wanted to let everyone know that im still alive, and didnt get died. i've just been busy and slacking on the lj-ness as of late. went to denver pride last sunday, and gay day at elitches on monday, was some kick ass shit yo, cept for the sunburn, but its all good. tomorrow im going to a concert with rachel, and possibly her sister and bf. its for matson jones, its a local indy band from ft. collins, should be a kick ass show. i love outdoor concerts, btb. okay, tis is all for now. oh....rachel and i are doing well, tis muy bien. yay!!!!!!! and yes, i am hyper as shit, and no, im not on coke or twack. okay. peaces ya'll. love to all the faeries. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|07:37 pm] |
to everyone that knows and cares about me....please do not hold things that i've said/done in the past against me. sometimes i dont use the best judgement and sometimes im just plain stupid. thats all i have to say about that....
rachel and i are back together, again. things are going well, im happy, shes happy. tis all good. we're taking things slow i really want to do things right this time and not be a dipshit and freak out when everything else in my life is getting fucked up....so yeah, this time when that happens im not going to dump her, im going to let her be my backbone so i dont freak out as bad. yeah....court and jon are still all blah i guess....i dont really know. jons a fucking douch stable boy. he makes me very very irritated. blah. thats all for now....ooooooh, i have a job, at toys r us. so ha mothafuckas. j/k. :) i do have a job there tho.
love to all those who love me, and shit to all those who dont. mwah! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2005|12:24 am] |
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im fckued up as ashit up as shit, thats lail i gottha say. peache out you guusy. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2005|12:44 pm] |
okay so a short little update since im at the library.....
40 to add to the like 20 i already had, to make a good ol number of 60. i gotta say, usually i dont do it that much, but i did and it made me feel a lil better. talking to court made me feel better too tho. so thats good. she said that no matter what i am not to peace out, because she wouldnt like that at all and not to mention we'd both probably be worse off then we already are.....we balance eachother and thats definetly and true statement...so yes. i will talk to everyone soon hopefully. the dsl modem released what tony calls 'the magical smoke' haha...aint that some shit. okay. peace out. |
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loveunworthy's journal
